Saturday, March 2, 2013

Come Talk to Me

When I was a kid, my mother took baths. So did Katie's mother. We have that in common. I'm not saying my mother never showered. I'm sure she did. But what I remember are the baths. And I specifically remember that when she'd go off to take a bath, she'd say to my father, "Come talk to me." And he would. She'd lay in the tub, and they'd talk about, I guess, whatever had happened that day. 

Now, I've never been a fan of baths. They seem great at first. You get that water nice and hot. Maybe you even light a candle. And as you're waiting for the tub to fill, you imagine how relaxing and wonderful it's going to be. But once you're in you realize that you're just sitting in a quickly-cooling puddle of your own filth. And the glamour wears thin.

As a child, I never really understood why my mom wanted my dad to come talk to her while she bathed. What was the point? Didn't she want to be alone and relax? But now that I'm all grown up, I get it. And even though I take showers -- and quick ones at that -- I still find myself saying to Katie, "Come talk to me." And if she can, she does. 

There is something so comforting about just having a conversation while I'm in the shower. It doesn't matter what we talk about; it's just the idea that she's there. She'll tell me about a phone call she had earlier or about something Merritt did. I'll open the shower door and ask her if my thighs are looking better lately. She'll tell me that they are, but that opening the door has now fogged up the mirror, so I should quit that. And then sometimes she joins me, even though we've gotten to the point that, while we recognize that showering together can certainly have its sexy moments, it usually just means one person is constantly freezing. And ain't nobody got time for that. So we work better when one of us sits on the (closed -- sometimes) toilet or plucks random hairs (it happens; get over it) and chats while the other enjoys her shower. 

So it took me a couple of decades, but I finally get what it is my mother was seeking in those moments. And I'm glad I've found it for myself. 

Really, this is all just to say that I love being married. And I really love my wife. 

1 comment:

  1. Hello! I normally don't ever comment on blogs...I'm one of those weird "lurkers"...and I know that this is an older post, but I just found your blog this morning after reading (and loving) your article on Huffington Post about the ridiculous Summer's Eve, I clicked through to your blog and was scrolling through, read this post, and just LOVED it. I love every bit of this post, from the description of a bath (they really are pretty gross!) to the reality of "showering together" as a couple, to the special togetherness of these shared moments in a relationship, and especially the last 2 sentences, because that kind of happiness in a relationship? That makes me SO happy to see other people sharing...I also love being married and I just wish everyone in the world could feel that kind of happiness and joy with their spouse. So, I just wanted to weirdly stop in and say, YAY for you and all of your happies!!