Happy Holidays to My Wife

We fell in love because of writing. Emails, filled with thousands of words, back and forth across the Atlantic Ocean. It didn’t start as love; neither one of us was looking for it. It just happened.

But then life happened, too. And things got in the way. I’m busy with work and there are so many days when I honestly don’t even think about the possibility of writing her. She writes me, and that makes my attempts all the more daunting. She knows what to say. She knows how to tell me how she feels. But when I try to do the same, everything I write comes out sounding like, “Me love girl.” That simply will not do.

For our Christmas, which we celebrated three days early, I got her a toaster. The intention was not to be romantic. It was to meet a need. We’ve lived with a $7 toaster for two and a half years. It is inconsistent, to say the least. Everyone in this house loves toast, so a toaster makes sense as a gift.

But what she wants is a letter. So she’s getting one. Only instead of writing to her, I’m writing to all of you about her.

I have never been prouder of anything in my life than I am of being able to say that Katie is my wife. It makes me seriously giddy every time I think about it, which is at least several times a day. Without meaning to sound too possessive, the fact that she is mine is almost beyond belief. I’ve done nothing to deserve such an amazing person to wake up to every morning, but she is here nonetheless.

She is hilarious. She is ridiculously smart. She is fantastically creative. She makes up songs everywhere she goes. She knows what I’m thinking even before I know. She is gorgeous. Like, seriously hot. In some ways you know, but also in ways that you will never get to see but that I know by heart, even as they surprise me daily.

I have never known love like this before. I had no idea it could be so powerful.

I will forever be impressed by her ability to be so strong, in the face of so much that would make an average person weak. There are many who would like to believe that she is just a heartless person who casually left her old life and destroyed other people. As if this is just something she took lightly and without any consideration for how it would affect anyone. This could not be further from the truth. Spending 30 years not being sure why you didn’t feel quite right would destroy a weaker person. But Katie is better than that; she realized who she was, and she made the right choice for her family. For everyone involved. I defy anyone else to say that they’re certain how they would handle the same situation. Let’s see if you could deal with it with such grace, dignity, and courage.

And then there’s the way she’s a mother to that little boy. A few nights ago, Merritt woke up crying in the midst of a nightmare. Katie has been having trouble sleeping lately, so I got up to try to take care of him before she was startled out of her slumber. I picked him up and held him, and though he didn’t fight me, he kept crying and was not able to fully wake up. Katie came in and sat on his bed, and after another minute or so, I gave Merritt to her. The second she wrapped him up in her arms, he calmed down. It was literally hysterical crying one second and peaceful sleep the next. He knew his momma, even with his eyes closed and from the middle of a pretty rough nightmare. He would have calmed down with me eventually, but his momma made it all better just like that.

There are so many ways to illustrate that this woman is the best mother to ever walk this earth. But all that really needs to be said is that she does everything for this little boy. She was a career-minded woman who gave it up to be a stay-at-home mom. She doesn’t do anything without thinking about how it will affect him. She has genuine fun with him. She focuses on his well-being at all times. I have never seen a greater illustration of love than I get to witness every time I see them together. She was meant to be this little boy’s mother. He could not be luckier.

This time of year, there is plenty of talk about the “reason for the season.” As far as I can tell, the whole point of this time of year is to take a moment to reflect on the things for which you are grateful. To that end, Katie is absolutely the reason for this season and any other. Everything I do is with her — and that little boy and this marriage — in mind. At Christmas, on Valentine’s Day, Arbor Day, and every day in between, I am thankful that we met all those years ago and that we were able to find each other again.

At night, she usually falls asleep first. When I turn out my light and get under the covers, I know that, without fail, I will feel her hand reaching out for me, even if she’s been asleep for hours. It’s like she just needs to know I am there. But she shouldn’t worry. I will always be there.

I love her. I feel like I always have. And I know that I always will. Happy Holidays to My Wife!

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